29.7.08

3-year-old timeline: tantrum tamers

Your 3-year-old now
She's 3, but still having tantrums. Although she's older, when she's upset she's every bit as emotionally primitive as she was as a toddler. (And, brace yourself — it's not unusual for occasional tantrums to pop up through the fours and beyond.) When your child is in full-meltdown mode, don't try to reason with her, no matter how advanced her language skills are. Stay calm, even detached. Raised voices and anger only escalate the situation. If you can, ignore her. If you're in public, try to remove her to your car or some other more private, less overwhelming place.

In one important way, handling a tantrum with a 3-year-old is different: Giving in is especially risky at this age because it sets a dangerous precedent — your child is able to remember that pitching a fit can work. For instance, she screams because she doesn't want to pick up her toys so you let it slide, or she flails when she can't have candy in the checkout aisle, so you give in "just this once" to hush her up. If you cave, you teach her that screaming works and that all limits are flexible — probably not the kind of discipline messages you're aiming for.

A great prevention technique: Reward your child when you see her handling frustration or disappointment in a mature way. "Wow, I like how you didn't fuss one bit when I asked you to help pick up the toys on the floor before going outside."


Your life now
Make reading interactive and your child will get even more out of the experience (and you'll ward off the boredom of reading the same story 900 times). Ask questions about the pictures to reinforce numbers, colors, and other skills: "Can you count the monkeys? ... What does a puppy say? ... Where's the red house?" Let your preschooler predict what will happen on the next page. Insert her name in place of the main character's.

source www.parentcenter.babycenter.com

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